it will feature things i write myself, other phrases, stories and such i think will make you laugh, think, cry, and... i hope it helps all of you

NEW STUFF

[recieved from cayce callahan]

Hey!!  I like the web page a lot!!  I got a few e-mails about my engagement, and it made me feel really good.  THanks for putting it on there.  Okay, here is your information: Cayce Callahan (soon to be Hoenshel) September 10, 1980 Anderson College Elementary Education with Early Childhood home: (803)648-8829 fav saying:  Matthew 6:34;  e-mail forward:  What I've learned(I'll send you a copy if you want one) embarrassing moment:  I was on the cruise and I had on a dress that I couldn't wear underwear with.  Gary and I went up to the top deck and the wind was blowing really hard.  Needless to say, it caught my dress and blew it up.  I caught it right after, so I hope I didn't reveal too much. reunion:  I would like for all of us to be able to enjoy each other, instead of everyone having their groups.  But, that probably will be hard to do because not everyone feels that way.

[recieved from mike tuno]

Yo Ron, Here is a good article for your newsletter... The band that I play in just got signed to a record label and will be realesing a c.d. in early March.  We are gonna tour the east coast this summer.  If you could put an ad in your newsletter for our c.d.  People can contact me at [email protected] my webpage is http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/frontrow/2385. Thanx Mike T. p.s. our band is The Insubordinates and our label is Raygun Records. p.s.s. you can upload a pic of me of the pics and info part of our page

[bobby condon]

Age Humor

I bought some of that "Gingkori" that's supposed to improve your memory, but I forgot where I put it. You don't know real embarrassment until your hip sets off a metal detector. You know you're getting older when you bend over in the morning to tie your shoes and realize you didn't take them off the night before. The biggest disadvantage of old age is that you can't outgrow it. The most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once threw away. She's getting crows feet around her eyes. And I'll tell you, that crow has big feet! Let's face it, traveling just isn't as much fun when all the historical sites are younger than you are. You know you're past your prime when every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell. I don't like to do things now that I did 20 years ago--like look in the mirror. I'm middle-age, middle-class, and middle-of-the-road. I feel like that white stuff in the middle of an Oreo. Heck, I don't feel a day older than I did a hundred years ago. Sometimes I feel old enough to be my own father. I'm suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. I go to the mall and forget where I parked my car. You know you're past your prime when you start getting air-guitar elbow. Age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.

My neighbors have been married for 60 years. They look like identical twins. One of them wears a dress. I don't know which one.

cool page. i dig.

-bobby

[anonymous]

LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK >> >>             1.      COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP >> >>             2.      BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER >> >>             3.      DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY >> >>             4.      WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT >> >>             5.      DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER >> >>             6.      YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG >> >>             7.      IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT >> >>             8.      IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY >> >>             9.      IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE >> >>             10.     IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER >> >>             11.     SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK >> >>             12.     IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT >> >>             13.     WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS >> >>             14.     WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, >>                       ZIP UP YOUR  TROUSER  MOUSE >> >>             15.     ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER >> >>             16.     NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER >> >>             17.     DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL >> >>             18.     THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION >> >>             19.     WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL >> >>             20.     A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER >> >>             21.     NO GLOVE, NO LOVE! >> >>             22.      IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT OFF, HAVE IT ON >>

[from daniel plyler on 4-27-99 NEW]

Only in America . . . Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance! Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink! Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions! Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke! Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters! Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless pieces of shit in the garage! Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place! Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight! Only in America...do we use the word "Politics" to describe the process so well. "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood~sucking creatures!" Only in America do we have drive~up ATM machines with Braille lettering!

[THIS IS ALL NEW....THESE ARE SOME RESPONSES I RECIEVED FROM THE LAST GROUP MAIL 2-4-99]

> >Name: E. Courtney Blackwell >Birthdate July 27, 1980 >College attending: CLEMSON :) >Major: Sec. Education, math >Home phone # School-858-6710 >Current dorm room # 2b5 Byrnes >Suggestions for the page: Lots of pictures >Newsletter name: Something to do with our class bc we were the best! >Your favorite saying, or email forward >Silliest moment?..(I'll make one up for you?trust me) >And?what do you want to see at a reunion???? EVERYONE THERE!!!! > >Id appreciate it if you could get that to me soon.. > >Please, tell me some stuff?tell me whats up and what not?.ya know?.i'll >talk to yall later? Carleigh Whitaker November 13, 1980 University of South Carolina-Columbia Biology/Pre-Med 704-341-3959 (Home) 803-544-4050 (Maxcy) please don't use the Thoroughbred for the page. I don't care what else it is! :D Silliest moment: Walking around with Abby Thompson in Versailles, France making fun of the sheep and a certain person named Dane...then drinking beer that same night and almost getting picked up by some French teenagers... I wanna see old pictures and memorabilia at the reunion, not to mention EVERYONE!! Nick DesRocher 06-04-80 USC (Columbia); South Carolina Honors College Chemical Engineering Home Phone = (803) 502-1538 USC Phone = (803) 544-4511 (Maxcy) -Suggestions: not a page of what all of the preppy girls have been up to -Newsletter Name: N/A -Favorite Saying: Aiken SC is not the end of the world, but you can see it from here. Silliest moment: N/A Suggestions for reunion: N/A I only went to South Aiken for two years (junior and senior), so I don't really know that many people that well. I have a small group of good friends, but that's about it. I really don't know the class of '98, so I'm not going to make any suggestions. Instant Messenger = DRoacher ICQ = 22464536 Allyson Carbaugh 5/9/80 University of South Carolina English 642-2286 544-1281 Most embarrassing moment: Falling on my ass at Jungle Jim's, Falling on my ass at Pavlov's > Name: Jeff Mobley >Birthdate: March 23, 1980 >College attending: USC >Major: Computer science >Current phone #: 544-1086 >Current dorm room # Maxcy 215 >Silliest moment: Getting hit in the face with a soccer ball >And what do you want to see at a reunion????: My friends > Ted Kirkland >Birthdate 12/15/79 >College attending Marine Corps >Major Communications >Home phone # 803-648-7253 >Current dorm room # home >Suggestions for the page >Newsletter name >Your favorite saying, or email forward God Bless, >Silliest moment?..(I'll make one up for you?trust me) >And?what do you want to see at a reunion???? Lots of people saved. > Name: Julie Thome Birthdate: 10/03/79 College attending: Clemson University Major: marketing Home phone #803-642-5196 Current dorm room #303 Holmes Suggestions for the page: MORE pictures!!!!! Newsletter name Your favorite saying, or email forward Silliest moment?since we've been in college??? And?what do you want to see at a reunion???? I want to see everyone there, healthy. I want to see the video you took at the senior breakfast. You should have a camera person at our reunions, and play them at future ones. I want to see teachers we loved there (mr. baker, mrs. poplin, mrs.morris, etc.)

[comical thoughts from sunil bector]

w0rd. 10-9-98 I work on the first floor of the library, and the things some people do make me angry. Like people who don't know how to find a book. That angers me. Don't get mad at me if you can't find a book. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Everyone in an English class here is required to go to the library for a tutorial session. Don't come up to me and say "hey, sorry, I'm so stupid! *tee hee* can you help me find this book?" I *know* you're stupid, you don't need to tell me that. But nevertheless, I will help you find the book because it's part of my job description :O!!!!!!! Once, as I was waiting to get on the elevator on the first floor, a girl came up to me and asked me "Is this going up or down?" I was on the FIRST FLOOR. THERE WAS NO DOWN. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, that womyn was about three bricks shy of a load. However, I could not be rude because that would be mean. Hmph :( I sure do miss my womyn. But it's all good 'cause I'll be home in a few hours :D!

[jocelyn sent me this on 12-3-98]

XXXX:Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "XXXX". It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language "XXXX" falls into many Grammatical catagories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John XXXXed Mary) and intransitive (Mary was XXXXed by John. It can be an action verb (John really gives a XXXX), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a XXXX), and adverb (Mary is XXXX interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific XXXX). It can also be used as an interjection (XXXX! I'm late for my date with Mary. It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, XXXX she's also stupid ) As you can see there are very few words with the overall versitility of the word XXXX Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describemany situations: 1 Greetings........."How the XXXX are ya?" 2 Fraud..............."I got XXXXed by the car dealer." 3 Resignation......."Oh, XXXX it!" 4 Trouble............."I guess I'm XXXXed now." 5 Agression........."XXXX YOU!" 6 Disgust................"XXXX me." 7 Confusion............." What tha XXXX....?" 8 Displeasure............"XXXXing XXXX man..." 9 Lost........................"where the XXXX are we?" 10 Disbelief.............."UNXXXXINGBELIEVABLE!!" 11Retaliation............."Up XXXX XXXXing XXXX!" 12 Apathy................."Who really gives a XXXX?" 13 Suspicion............."Who the XXXX are you?" 14 Directions.............."XXXX off." It can be maternal........"MOTHERXXXXER!!" It can be used to tell time......." It's four XXXXing twenty!" It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's aXXXXingasshole." Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history?Where the XXXX is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the Titanic "Who the XXXX is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~ "Heads are gonna XXXXing roll." ~Anne Boleyn~ "Any XXXXing idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~ "It does so XXXXing look like her!" ~Picasso~ "You want what on the XXXXing celiling?" ~Michaelangelo~ "Houston we Have a big XXXXing problem." ~tha crew of Apollo 13